Is New Age Spirituality Patriarchal?

There’s a feeling that’s been poking it’s way into my heart for a while now, and from what I hear from some of the community in spiritual, ceremonial, and healing spaces is that you feel it too. I’ve tried to touch on it in my reels and TikToks but the truth is, there is no way to hold the nuance of this conversation in 60 or 90 seconds and frankly, I’m tired of people coming at me in my comments and DM’s. I am not afraid of disagreeing, nor am I afraid of a challenging discussion. What I do not have any energetic capacity (or patience) for, is to argue with people on the internet who can’t broaden the horizons of their mind enough to realize that just because I said I like oranges doesn’t mean I hate apples. These topics require deep discussion, discernment, space for nuance, and a lot of other shit that the screens on our phones just cannot provide space for. So here we go

So let me say it fully, clearly, and without distortion:

I am spiritual.

And when I say that new age spirituality can be patriarchal, I am not saying all spirituality is patriarchal. I’m not saying every space is harmful. I’m not saying every practitioner is doing it wrong. I’m saying it can be. And that distinction matters.

What Do I Mean by “New Age Spirituality”?

Before anything else, we need to define terms, because a lot of the confusion comes from semantics. Some people feeling like I’m attacking spirituality as a whole. I’m not.

When I say “new age spirituality,” I’m talking about a very specific archetype: a modern, often Westernized version of spirituality that pulls from many different traditions, but strips them of their cultural roots, context, and depth. It’s spirituality that is frequently aestheticized, simplified, and packaged for consumption.

It’s the version that turns sacred practices into trends. It’s the person who burns sage and calls it “woo woo”. It’s the person who serves cacao without any proper training or experiences with the original stewards of this medicine. It’s the person serving hapé who has no idea where the medicine comes from. It’s the yoga teacher who thinks the practice is just Asana (the poses) and says Namaste but doesn’t know what the word means. It’s the person who wears white and is adorned with feathers but is too self absorbed to take a good hard look at how THEIR version of spirituality may be harming others.

That does not mean all spirituality falls into this category.

Light and Shadow Exist in Everything

Here’s where nuance is required. In my humble opinion, everything in life has a light side and a shadow side. Every belief, every action, every intention can come from love, or from distortion/hate/fear/shadow.

The simplest example I can think of is going to the gym. If you go because you love your body and want to take care of it, that’s rooted in love (light). If you go thinking, “I look fucking terrible, I need to fix my body,” that’s rooted in shame (shadow). Same action. Completely different energy.

So now let’s bring this back to spirituality. Two people can sit in the same ceremony, work with the same practice, speak the same language, and be in completely different relationships to what they’re doing. One person may be engaging with reverence. With humility. With respect. With a genuine desire to listen, to learn, to be in right relationship with the medicine, the lineage, the land, and themselves. Another person may be engaging from ego. From a need to feel special, advanced, “healed”, or to be on a pedestal. From a desire to bypass pain, claim identity, or package something sacred into something profitable.

Same practice. Completely different intention.

This is where people get defensive, because they hear critique and assume it’s about the practice itself, when in reality, it’s about the energy and consciousness behind how it’s being practiced.

Spirituality, in its light, is about connection. Connection to self. To nature. To spirit. To truth.

But spirituality, in its shadow, can become performative, extractive, hierarchical, white washed, watered down, and disconnected from its roots. It can become something we use instead of something we are in relationship with.

And that’s the difference. Because once spirituality becomes something to consume, to sell, to brand, or to use as a way to position ourselves above others we’ve moved out of relationship and into power. And that shift, subtle as it may be, is where the same systems many people think they’re escaping… quietly get recreated and repackaged as conscious.

Can New Age Spirituality Be Patriarchal?

A lot of people are opening up the conversation around the term patriarchal, which I am SO happy about. Is it patriarchal? Hierarchical? Something else entirely? I think we can get stuck debating the exact word, when what really matters is the point that’s coming through.

Regardless of the word we choose, it seems many of us agree on this: the archetype of new age spirituality, in its shadow expression, seems to center hierarchy, performance, commodification, and disconnection from origin. It can become a space where people take from Indigenous and ancestral traditions, relabel them as “modern” or “woo woo”, strip them of cultural meaning, and then sell them back to others for profit. So whatever word you want to use for that *gestures broadly* is cool with me.

What i’m describing is harmful. It’s rooted in systems we already know so well: consumerism, capitalism, and yes… patriarchy. It is my belief that patriarchy isn’t just about men, it’s about power structures. It’s about domination, extraction, and hierarchy over reciprocity, relationship, and respect. (and maybe i’m wrong but that’s my take)

How Can We Reevaluate Our Spirituality and Be in Right Relationship With Our Practices?

I want to be really clear about this part, I do not consider my spirituality to be “new age.” My spirituality is rooted in animism, reciprocity, relationship to the divine, connection to nature, respect for all living beings, and a deep reverence to the medicines I work with, the cultures they come from, the original stewards of them, and also just being a plain old fucking human.

My spirituality is an amalgamation of different beliefs and practices that I have built over time. It is mine. And that’s exactly what spirituality should be…. is your own.

I don’t say that to set myself above anyone or to have a “holier than thou” mentality even though I can see why someone might take it that way. It is quite the opposite. The reason I feel I can speak to this deeply is because I used to be the exact person I’m calling out. I burned sage relentlessly, thought having a pretty altar or a few crystals made me woke. The first time someone served me hapé, it was through a hollowed-out Bic pen because we didn’t have a Tepi. I was ignorant and unaware, but I was learning. We all are.

My point isn’t to say you’re doing spirituality wrong or that new age spirituality is inherently evil. My point is that when we treat sacred practices as commodities, strip them of their origins, or use them to elevate ourselves above others, we’re stepping into systems that mirror the same hierarchies and power structures that patriarchy depends on.

My point is that if you feel called out… good. You should. We all should. We should care about the origins of our practices. We should give a shit about the traditions they come from. It should matter to us if the practices that feel healing to us are harmful to others, and if the way we engage with them perpetuates domination instead of reciprocity.

What I hope we can all do is reevaluate our own spirituality. To notice when our practices are in right relationship with the cultures, lineages, and teachings they come from and when they’ve become something we’re using for ego, aesthetics, or convenience.

Spirituality should be something lived, felt, and built with integrity, not mass-produced, copied, or stripped of its roots. But it is also a lifelong practice of learning, unlearning, and showing up, humbly.

The Bottom Line

Can new age spirituality be patriarchal? I believe so, yes. But so can anything if we allow it. This isn’t about demonizing spirituality. It’s about taking responsibility for how we engage with it.

At the end of the day it’s not just what you practice. It’s how you practice. It’s why you practice. And it’s whether your path is rooted in relationship, respect, and integrity, or if it’s swung to the side of extraction, performance, and power.